Sunday, October 09, 2005

It's Payback Time, Biyotch!

Today was a good day to be a Houston sports fan. The Astros smoked, embarrassed, and totally destroyed the Atlanta Braves to win the NL Division Series. (Okay, so 7-6 hardly counts as a shellacking, and having taken 18 innings to finish the game, the Braves may not be the only team destroyed. Good thing the Astros don't have to play again until Wednesday -- Lance Berkman may be sound asleep until then.)

Now comes the piece of resistance: getting even with those girly-men from St. Louis who have the bird on their uniform blouse.

Last year, the Astros were within one game of going to their first-ever World Series. It would have been the first time in their 42 seasons. Roger Clemens was starting that Game 7. He had been brought out of retirement by the 'Stros for precisely this reason: to pitch the home team into the Big Dance. And ... he blew it.

This year, the Astros are only four wins away from going to their first-ever World Series. If they make it, it will be their first time in 43 seasons. Clemens is a big reason they're going to the NL Championship Series: he pitched the last three innings of today's 18-inning nailbiter. Out of the bullpen. First time he's pitched in relief in 21 years. Apart from Andy Pettitte (who will be starting Wednesday night's Game 1) and Roy Oswalt (who got burned up in yesterday's game), he was the last Astro on the bench.

And Chris Burke -- the second baseman who may never get to start at second base because some guy named Biggio just keeps producing and producing -- launched a walk-off homer to put the Braves (and all us devout Astros fans) out of their misery.

The Cardinals are ... well, the Cardinals. They swept the Padres. Big whoop. They ran away with the NL Central, but their record was no match for Houston's major-league best after May 15.

And I have a feeling that, come Wednesday, there are gonna be a few surprises in the NLCS. And the victorious team will be the one wearing red. Not Cardinal red -- brick red.

They say payback's a bitch. Hey, St. Louis, here's a friendly word of advice:

Prepare yourself for the bitch.

posted by Gary @ 11:43 PM


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