Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Somewhere, Pat Robertson Is Smiling

Marguerite Perrin is America's newest celebrity, and as any good celebrity does, she now has her own bobblehead doll. But I'll get to that.

PerrinI should clarify. Her friends and family know her as "Marguerite Perrin". The rest of us know her as that crazed, wild-eyed, rotund, toothless, screaming "God warrior" from the past couple of weeks of FOX's "Trading Spouses". (You know, the raving lunatic on the plugs FOX ran for about a month before the show aired? If you watched the World Series, you saw it a half-dozen times per night ...)

This blog entry isn't about the fine example of Christianity at work known as Marguerite (although, in a nutshell: This "devout Christian" mom - though you couldn't tell it from her judgmentalism and temper - was paired up with a pagan family, and was not only condemning everyone and everything she saw in that house to Hell, but when she got home, launched into the famous tirade about everything in her pure household having been contaminated by non-believers).

No, actually, this is about the brilliant eBay auction featuring a handmade, one-of-a-kind "God warrior" bobblehead doll. Crank up your computer's audio and click on the link, and brace yourself for the kind of genius that makes you wince.

You'll first hear a brilliant New Age-y tune that samples Ms. Perrin's tantrum quite nicely. But read on, and you'll see that this bobblehead doll not only looks like her, but comes with 12 - count 'em, twelve - sound samples! Yes, now YOU can have this screaming nutburger in your house, 24/7!

(Oh ... and as of midday 11/17, the bidding is currently up to $750. I hope the entrepreneur responsible for this made a mold, and can churn out a few more of these - I smell a marketing opportunity! Oh ... no, wait, that's just Marguerite ...)

(P.S.: Be sure to hover your mouse over M.P.'s disembodied face halfway down the page, to see her change into something quite appropriate.)

* * *

On the subject of going to hell, I got a good laugh from this page which I stumbled across while researching this entry. Not that the way I stumbled across it is particularly interesting, but it shows you how my mind works:

The eBay auction page has a graphic near the top which allows you to click on a number and hear one of the samples the bobblehead doll will say to you. The numbers are 1 through 12, but for some reason, they omitted the number 5. The Wife mused that perhaps Marguerite found that particular digit to be un-Godly, although we agreed that "6" was a more likely candidate, since "666" was considered to be the Mark of the Beast and all that.

Well, that led me to wonder who might have had the intestinal fortitude to order the phone number 666-666-6666. Well, type that into Google and notice the first two excerpted words of the very first entry listed; quite apropos, I thought, but certainly not for the faint of heart.

But the Wife pointed out that there is no "666" area code, so I Googled 666-6666. Once I got past Corky and the Juice Pigs and the New York limousine companies, I found this page. (I particularly liked the entry for 1-900-666-6666 - "Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts! Only $6.66 per minute! [Must be over 18]")

Hmmm ... you know, maybe it would be safer for me to blog about children and puppies and Liberals. I certainly shouldn't be left to my own devices on this thing.

posted by Gary @ 1:17 PM


At 1:52 AM, Blogger Maethelwine said...

Just so I understand what you're on about, this woman is on a reality TV show? I've been out of the US for a few years, but are my countrymen really sitting down to watch the mentally ill on television? And sell dolls of such?

At 6:18 PM, Blogger Glyn (Zaphod) Evans said...

That woman needs some very serious help.... Like a stake through the heart LOL!


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Location: Houston, Texas

Why the heck wouldn't you want to read the toxic byproducts of my mental processes? It's not like you're too busy to waste a minute or two here, you know. You ARE just killing time by mindlessly surfing the web. Pop open a brewski and stay a while.

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