Sunday, September 11, 2005

Campbell's Chunky Toxic Soup

Here is more flora from the intestine of the international news. (Or is it fauna? Flora? I get them confused ...)

AND, OF COURSE, HALLIBURTON GOT THE CONTRACT

The Gulf emirate of Dubai will build a city of life-size replicas of seven wonders of the world at an estimated cost of $US1.5 billion ($1.94 billion) to house offices, shops and flats, a developer has said.

Three buildings will be modelled on structures that were part of the original list of the "Seven Wonders of the Ancient World" - the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Others will be replicas of more modern wonders - the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Great Wall of China, a statement said.

The Great Wall of China? Lifesize? I didn't know Dubai was big enough to house a 3,946-mile-long Great Wall. Nor did I realize that Dubai was being threatened by nomadic bands of Mongol hordes ...

MORE TALES OF THE MENTALLY UNHINGED

A Pennsylvania woman, Brenda Smith, upset over being bitten by a neighbor's dog in May, shot the daughter of the dog's owner and then took another neighbor hostage, police said.

Smith shot Jennifer Strohl, 20, after confronting her about the alleged poisoning of Smith's dog. Strohl's mother said Smith wore a long blond wig and ''goofy clothes'' during the incident. ''We all knew she was upset about the bite and she was bugging all the neighbors about my dogs, but I never thought she would end up doing this, that she was dangerous,'' the mother said.

According to the arrest affidavit, Smith told police that she never meant to shoot Strohl: ''I meant to shoot the dog, not the lady, but at least now I'll be able to get some sleep tonight.''

And in a related story, Smith has already been nominated to be the next head of FEMA ...

NONCONFORMITY IS VERBOTEN. PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED

Three Oklahoma honor students who say they have never been disciplined before were sent home from school for dying their hair purple, blue and red, respectively. The girls -- all freshmen and all straight-A students -- said they were not warned before being told they would not be allowed back in class until they changed their hair color. The absence is considered unexcused, according to a discipline report given to the students, which means they will not be allowed to make up any tests or assignments they missed, they said.

Well, it's Oklahoma. That explains it.

AND WITH THAT, NEVADA LOSES ITS BRAGGING RIGHTS

Although soliciting sexual favors on the street is illegal in Rhode Island, authorities say a loophole in state law allows prostitution behind closed doors — including in storefronts that advertise as massage parlors and spas just blocks from City Hall. "We don't have a law criminalizing prostitution indoors," said Providence Police Lt. Thomas Verdi, who leads the department's anti-prostitution efforts.

Two words: ROAD TRIP!!!

OH, JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY

Hip-hop star Kanye West is advising his white counterparts that they can only use certain slang terms when they're out of style for black people. The rapper - who recently charged that President Bush "doesn't care" about African Americans - believes that certain slang words should only be able to cross racial barriers when they're no longer in style for black people.

He says, "I think white people are allowed to say 'bling'. They are allowed to say old-school black slang, like 'hottie' and 'homie'. Actually, I do not think that (white people) are allowed to use slang until it is at least a year old. If you say a slang word too early, it's like you're trying to be black. So as long as the slang is a little played out, you're all good."

It's about darn time the African-American community had its own arbiter of language, I say. Kanye has appointed himself the William Safire of the inner city. Now, if someone would only answer just one question for me: WHO THE HELL IS KANYE WEST?

posted by Gary @ 3:45 PM

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Location: Houston, Texas

Why the heck wouldn't you want to read the toxic byproducts of my mental processes? It's not like you're too busy to waste a minute or two here, you know. You ARE just killing time by mindlessly surfing the web. Pop open a brewski and stay a while.




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